The Caricatures
by jurjid
Summary: I am taking every negative stereotype, including ones I know are false, of 5 people types Christian, Satanist, nihilist, social darwinist and Muslim and exaggerating them far beyond truth or common sense. When they are placed in the construction site, their conflicts and deep personality flaws cause them to be killed or infested in a few pages. Warning: intense implied violence.
1. The characters

The clip was emptied. The police were coming, but Aidan was in no danger. When Aidan left the hospital for disabled children with his machine gun, he knew his work was done. Inferiors must not contaminate the gene pool, and because the government ignored his requests for a genocide campaign, he took matters into his own hands. Evolution must occur. Any genetic loss from healthy Aryans in the building were far outweighed by the benefits of removing the genetic diseased, jews and blacks. Aidan ran his hiding spot in the construction site, foiling his pursuers. This was not the first time the police were unable to stop the natural process, and it would not be the last. He will succeed where Hitler had failed.

Nearby, Chris was cleansing a funeral of it's sin. He never read the bible, but knew it was a completely literal, infallible, perfectly understood book dropped from heaven by God to declare God's hatred for gays, women and anyone who had a religion other than Roman Catholic. As the family of the dead cried, Chris ranted about how the death was a punishment for all of their sins, that the dead man was a fag, a blasphemer, a Satanist, a sorcerer, a thieving Jew and a defiler of his church. The family of this evil man begged Chris to stop, but Chris knew that it is better to insult them now then to let them suffer eternal hellfire. There were policemen there, but Chris was protected by the first amendment and saw his safety as a sign that he was doing a good deed. Near the end of the funeral, his speech was interrupted when his rival, Sam, threw a bomb at the casket. How dare disrupt the funeral at this holy church? That Muslim must be killed!

Sam hated Americans and all of their customs. If a country does not worship Allah, that country must be burned. Funerals were among the most insulting events, for it makes those blasphemers think they have prospects after death. Sam stood in front of the chapel door and threw more grenades until all were dead. He feared no police, for the sooner he dies the sooner he will receive his 72 virgins. As he left, he lit the church on fire. When those swine killed his hero, Osama bin Laden, he knew they must pay. Sam went back to his explosive stash in the construction site to get more grenades and his gun.

The mysterious boy (girl?) put a sacrifice in the pentagram, as he did every night. The nightly action of holding the meat (either goat or human, no one is sure) over the bonfire in the construction yard had long ago blackened his hand and broken the nerves. In public, he declares himself a "wiccan," the most recent name for his religion, to trick potential followers and spread lies. Of course, anyone competent can see through this, but the name does its job. This person has three goals in life: to destroy everything beautiful, to please Satan, and to remove good from the world. Police are almost certain that he was the one responsible for the library burning, many suspicious disappearances, and defiling of artworks, but there has never been enough evidence for a conviction. He knew of all the works of Aidan, Chris and Sam, and was overjoyed. He rarely talks, and goes by "Sin" in place of a name. Long, greasy hair covers his face.

Fred put the knife down again. Life has no purpose, there is no life after death. Fred saw life as a nihilist does, without hope. He used to be in the schooling system, but was kicked out because he refused to work for futile goals. He considered crime, but had no happiness from petty money or killing. He became a pyromaniac, but the fire hurt him and he despised suffering. Pondering these in a secluded part of the construction yard, he once again raised his knife to his throat, ending it all. He put it down. The truth was, Fred was a coward. As much as he desired non-existence, a lifetime of waiting, despair and a sense of futility removed his capability to do any meaningful action on himself. Fred of course can do anything on others, ignoring his conscience, for they do not exist. He sighed. Fred hated his life.


	2. The plot

Chris tackled Sam from behind as Sam grabbed his gun. Holding his own gun to Sam's face, he shouted "You have served the devil long enough, you towel head! Prepare to meet your 'lord'!" Click. "Stupid &%^$ing safety."

The others of course did not stop them, because Sin wanted death, Aidan wanted to remove the naïve "God" worshipper gene from the population, and Fred didn't think death was meaningful.

Fred looked up. He saw the illusion created by his mind of a spaceship coming toward him, and got out of the way. It certainly did not exist, but Fred could not stand the illusion of pain.

Sam used the distraction to grab Chris' gun. Chris was still holding on, so they began to grapple and therefore did not see the ship.

Sin looked up. Sin saw the ship. Sin did not know what it was, but did not alert the others. Maintaining ignorance is a great way to allow sin to remain undetected, and thus maintaining the service to his lord. If asked about it later, Sin would claim to have known about it in prophesy, and none would ever know the depth of his lies. Sin silently put more sacrifice in the fire in preparation.

Aidan looked up. He saw the spaceship of a superior species flying overhead. It must be planning to remove the inferior humans and plunder the resources. Aidan did not stop it. Despite the fact that he was human himself, he felt no loyalty to the humans or planet. The strong will plunder, the doomed shall give. Aidan continued to watch as the spaceship landed and Elfangor came out. Glancing upon the extra eyes and sharp tail, Aidan knew that the dna was superior. He would further the alien's goal. The gun was raised to his head. A few seconds later, a puddle of blood was on the ground.

This made Chris and Sam look, and they noticed the Andalite. The Andalite was badly scarred, but Elfangor was more frightened of the humans here than the wounds or yeerks. Of course, no one else noticed or suspected this. Elfangor was pondering whether he should give them the morphing power.

Sam kicked Chris in a delicate place and ran into the spaceship while Chris was delayed. "Where's the prayer mat, you cur? Why isn't this ship facing Mecca?" And he proceeded to grab the end of the tail and squeeze Elfangor's stalk eyes. Elfangor tried to break free, but a human's hand is strong enough to hold a tail and and the pain was very distracting.

((Please, I am near death. I need to warn you about aliens coming to enslave you all))

At least, that was what Elfangor was about to say. After he said "death", Fred muttered "I will end pain" and as he was saying the -slave syllable, Fred stabbed him through the head. Fred would never be able to do it to himself, but feels no guilt about doing it to others because they don't exist, and when he muttered "I will end pain" he really meant that he wants to end his pain, and hopes that this will inspire him to kill himself. He brought his knife to his throat, but once again put it down, and cried.

Chris by now had recovered and removed the safety. He shot one bullet at Sam, but missed and hit Fred. Oh well. God will sort his own. He shot again and hit Sam in the heart. (people do not die immediately from this because it takes several seconds for the brain to run out of oxygen) With a third shot, he found that his gun was out of bullets. Chris fled the scene, and Sam was not able to load his own gun and shoot it before he collapsed.

Chris, by the way, decided to support the aliens because of their slavery. He was pretty sure Jesus preached that slavery is necessary, and Chris wanted to reverse the moral decline caused by liberalism.

Bug fighters came and obviously, the yeerks were here. Sin chanted a curse at them. Nothing happened. Sin chanted a different curse at them. Nothing happened. The logical reason would be that Satan does not exist or does not protect him because Satan has no loyalty to him and wants the yeerks to succeed, but Sin 'knew' that the curse works and perhaps was simply not showing yet. No struggle was put up as he was brought to the yeerk pool.

Because Chris ran away before the yeerks came, he was not captured at that time. However, later he returned to the scene to follow the aliens to where they came from. Chris recognized Chapman, followed him.

In the yeerk pool, he saw people screaming in cages. He shouted at them, saying that "Jesus said that slaves who rebel are heaping burning hell-coals on their head. This is a quote directly from the bible! Stop resisting the invasion immediately!" The yeerks figured out that he was not a controller, and brought him to the pool. Chris put on a big show of his cooperation and bragged about how holy he was. Of course, the moment the yeerk touched his ear, he began fighting back. He already got his holiness points for the day, and now that nobody could see him clearly (he was surrounded by hork-bajir) there was no point in acting holy for others.

The story in the paper the next day was that some teenagers were shot by unknown murderers. One of them shot off flares, somehow mistaken for flying saucers and starting a rumor of aliens. 3 guns, many bullets and 3 bodies were found. The police are seeking all information related to it. The sharing has increased recruitment and their media appearances, saying that the community must work together to prevent further crimes. Sin and Chris were both involuntary hosts, and without a resistance the yeerks easily conquered.


	3. author's note

Author's note:

When I was looking for stereotypes about satanists, I found a lot of websites describing the faith and defending it. YIKES! It's even worse than the common stereotypes. Here are a few (copy and pasted, not modified) comments from satanists on paganforum 'defending it'.

"In general Theistic Satanists tend to be drawn to Lucifer. I assume it fits in more with their deity driven beliefs. Satan for a LaVeyan? More on the archetype of what we strive to be. We don't really mix it in with Christian religion in the literal sense of he's real. Also Satan means Adversary as Lucifer is light bearer. One follows Lucifer. One wants to be like Satan. That's probably a very pared down explanation. But it works."

[[If you don't see a problem, read sentences 6-8 again]]

"In my view there is 3 form of satanism.

1)Laveyan atheistic satanism.

2)Symbolic satanism:In this form of satanism the follower see other gods in form of could be Enki,seth,poseidon etc. Many member of the symbolic satanism assimilate concept and ideas from other religion and philosophy.

I'm a symbolic satanist.I see satan as the sumerian god Enki, so i could also be consider as Sumerian pagan.I also studied and practice Hermeticism and other ceremonial magick.

3)Reverse Christian:Those are basically christians who had turn to the opposite of their of worshipping God, they embrace of them are rebellious teenager or agnosticist who did this for shock value."

[[Other gods in form of satan?]]

And here is an actual quote from the satanic bible.

Chapter 3, verse 7: Hate your enemies with a whole heart, and if a man smite you on one cheek, SMASH him on the other!; smite him hip and thigh, for self-preservation is the highest law!

The whole book is about this.

Also, unrelated, all of the characters are a slight variation on the name of the most famous person in the type they parody. Chris is obvious. The rest are a riddle for the readers.


End file.
